Sometimes all they need is a split of a second. A wink of an eye, a minute of yours, a flick of the hand.
Well, a boring Saturday yet again being summer and no travel plans. Summer is a bad time in Karnataka to travel.
This post was actually inspired by the book ‘Blink’ by Malcolm Gladwell. I bought this book on the roadside pirated book stall who manages to give you the one at 1/5th the market price. Recession times leads to low cost solutions :-)
The author describes the main subject of his book as "thin-slicing": our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience. Here are links for a bit more description of the book from Wikipedia.
Wikipedia and Malcolm Gladwell
The book put me thinking on slightly different lines.. About people just like about ‘blink’ instances.
I’ve had a few experiences personally and have seen quite a few, when someone can do wonders with a flick. All people need is a spark, an ignition or a word of comfort sometimes. The first instance I can recall was a couple of years back when I was diagnosed with malaria and lay on the bed entangled in the drip pipes for 3 days. Every day the doc used to attend me twice. It was nothing that he did, but just speak a few words and check the temp scale. But those two visits game me real inspiration that I was doing well. The body used to cool own, eyes used to lighten up, some energy used to encompass for about an hour. It is no surprise, as each of us would have felt in a similar way. I could narrate a few more of similar or better ones but a little bit enthusiastic to get into the crux of the matter.
Sometimes it so happens for people that they get into situations or problems or happy things that they need to share. It happens so, that they want a pair of ears to listen and a pair of eyes to look at for expressing themselves. Very much like machines, which when oiled and greased at the right time works fine for years else it breaks down . The ability to thin slice such situations will remarkably make a difference for those who need it.
Btw, here is another incident which happened in college, when a friend of mine was totally depressed for a personal reason, which I ended up discovering was a breakup. He was totally down for a week, and incidentally we had invited him for a trip the nearest weekend. Our intention of invite was out of the blue as another guy who had to join us backed out, and college experiences say that trips are more financially viable if there are more people. Now, we spoke about everything like breakups, college rumours, how-i-will-be-a-few-years-later and many more things during the trip. It was an enjoyable trip as always, and a couple of days later this guy invites us all for a treat in an expensive restaurant and explains us the whole story about his breakup, what we spoke fitted into his life and how he understood a lot of things from the conversation. He was a happy man that day! So were we, with sumptuous food for free :-P. Incidentally we never knew that we were with him at the right time when he needed it. It just happened, unknowingly and that made a big difference to him. He is a successful guy and doing his PHd in the US now.
There are some people who might come and ask directly and some maybe pale white shy and express their concern in indirect ways. Parsing such situations to understand what they want is completely onto our abilities and thinking processes and is a challenge. The paradigm shift is what some people do to determine their situations and reasons, in short, reading between lines. There are some of us who believe that “If you have a problem, tell me I’ll solve it”. For some it does not work that way. People might always not need a solution for a problem. The problem, a lot of times is a solution in itself. If everyone were straightforward… psychiatrists, counselors, negotiators would be jobless. I’ve read that such people are highly paid by governments to determine the behavior and character of captured fugitives or their own soldiers, to read between lines and to predict the behavior or counsel them. That’s not much in the purview of this topic.
Sometimes it happens that because of our visual shadowing of people’s personality model, the cognitive abilities get masked. But the fact, that the difference the time slice can make is immeasurable. There have been instances where kids took extreme measures as their parents were busy and did not spend ‘quality’ time with them or mafia gang leaders quitting and leading a normal life just because they could speak with someone and ended up finding out what he had done so far was wrong.
We all are wired differently, so it’s extremely tough to predict behaviors. But it is proved fact that there are definitive patterns that can determine what a person has got to say. .....For the time spent well at the right time can be more rewarding for either sides than we could all imagine.
I would be glad to know what you all feel or think about this ‘perception’ of giving your time..
Well, a boring Saturday yet again being summer and no travel plans. Summer is a bad time in Karnataka to travel.
This post was actually inspired by the book ‘Blink’ by Malcolm Gladwell. I bought this book on the roadside pirated book stall who manages to give you the one at 1/5th the market price. Recession times leads to low cost solutions :-)
The author describes the main subject of his book as "thin-slicing": our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience. Here are links for a bit more description of the book from Wikipedia.
Wikipedia and Malcolm Gladwell
The book put me thinking on slightly different lines.. About people just like about ‘blink’ instances.
I’ve had a few experiences personally and have seen quite a few, when someone can do wonders with a flick. All people need is a spark, an ignition or a word of comfort sometimes. The first instance I can recall was a couple of years back when I was diagnosed with malaria and lay on the bed entangled in the drip pipes for 3 days. Every day the doc used to attend me twice. It was nothing that he did, but just speak a few words and check the temp scale. But those two visits game me real inspiration that I was doing well. The body used to cool own, eyes used to lighten up, some energy used to encompass for about an hour. It is no surprise, as each of us would have felt in a similar way. I could narrate a few more of similar or better ones but a little bit enthusiastic to get into the crux of the matter.
Sometimes it so happens for people that they get into situations or problems or happy things that they need to share. It happens so, that they want a pair of ears to listen and a pair of eyes to look at for expressing themselves. Very much like machines, which when oiled and greased at the right time works fine for years else it breaks down . The ability to thin slice such situations will remarkably make a difference for those who need it.
Btw, here is another incident which happened in college, when a friend of mine was totally depressed for a personal reason, which I ended up discovering was a breakup. He was totally down for a week, and incidentally we had invited him for a trip the nearest weekend. Our intention of invite was out of the blue as another guy who had to join us backed out, and college experiences say that trips are more financially viable if there are more people. Now, we spoke about everything like breakups, college rumours, how-i-will-be-a-few-years-later and many more things during the trip. It was an enjoyable trip as always, and a couple of days later this guy invites us all for a treat in an expensive restaurant and explains us the whole story about his breakup, what we spoke fitted into his life and how he understood a lot of things from the conversation. He was a happy man that day! So were we, with sumptuous food for free :-P. Incidentally we never knew that we were with him at the right time when he needed it. It just happened, unknowingly and that made a big difference to him. He is a successful guy and doing his PHd in the US now.
There are some people who might come and ask directly and some maybe pale white shy and express their concern in indirect ways. Parsing such situations to understand what they want is completely onto our abilities and thinking processes and is a challenge. The paradigm shift is what some people do to determine their situations and reasons, in short, reading between lines. There are some of us who believe that “If you have a problem, tell me I’ll solve it”. For some it does not work that way. People might always not need a solution for a problem. The problem, a lot of times is a solution in itself. If everyone were straightforward… psychiatrists, counselors, negotiators would be jobless. I’ve read that such people are highly paid by governments to determine the behavior and character of captured fugitives or their own soldiers, to read between lines and to predict the behavior or counsel them. That’s not much in the purview of this topic.
Sometimes it happens that because of our visual shadowing of people’s personality model, the cognitive abilities get masked. But the fact, that the difference the time slice can make is immeasurable. There have been instances where kids took extreme measures as their parents were busy and did not spend ‘quality’ time with them or mafia gang leaders quitting and leading a normal life just because they could speak with someone and ended up finding out what he had done so far was wrong.
We all are wired differently, so it’s extremely tough to predict behaviors. But it is proved fact that there are definitive patterns that can determine what a person has got to say. .....For the time spent well at the right time can be more rewarding for either sides than we could all imagine.
I would be glad to know what you all feel or think about this ‘perception’ of giving your time..
6 comments:
I agree with you - sometimes a moment can make all the difference.
But sometimes, if you're stressed out, you would like to be left alone....
Bhatta! Didnt know u had such a good writer hidden in u! Just finished reading all of ur posts here. I specially liked "Whats happening in our lives?" Have sent that link to my dear husband ;)
And oh! Do remember that you can always count on us whenever you need us.. And in return, you can give us the free food when u r happy ;)
keep writing buddy. am so delighted to read all your straight-from-heart thoughts!
batta interesting one. Have been thinking about these lines for many a days. Its so true that taking a moment off helps us to make better decision.
Nice write up, and so well written.. Sometimes just giving ur ear to someone's problem is all a troubled soul needs.
Read this blog post again today. An year back what I had understood from this and what I understood now is totally different.... Somehow I could relate every word of this post to my life. You are always right..
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